@jonnysun: look. life is bad. evryones sad. we're all gona die. but i alredy bought this inflatable boumcy castle so r u gona take ur shoes off or wat
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@BuckyIsotope: Did you know that if everyone in the U.S. donated just one pint of blood, we could pour it over the Statue of Liberty and be hella cool?
@usermcuserface: It concerns me as a parent that damn near every Disney movie shows kids if your parents die you'll become royalty and have a great life.
@MRagaab: What I say: I'm on a diet. What my mom hears: please cook delicious food and buy chocolate.
@WhiskeySoured: If a bear is chasing you, don't run. Be very still and tweet about it because you're about to die.