@Whateverfitsme: Look mom, no meds!
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@ElgatoEsmio: [An old thermometer breaks scattering mercury beads all over the floor] “Get out of here, NOW!" “Why?” “HAVEN'T U SEEN TERMINATOR 2?”
@MariyaAlexander: Your Harvard education doesn't make me respect you more - it makes me respect Harvard less.
@carlyken: "Mom, what does married mean?" Taking naps together "Daddy naps with his secretary are they married?" No, that means he's getting divorced
@Mikecanrant: There is a huge spider in my kitchen so I will be tweeting from on top of this table for whatever the life span of this species is.