@MattMcElaney: Look, mom, we can keep arguing about whether or not 28 is too old to live your parents but it's not gonna help us find my iguana any faster.
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@jdforshort: There are some problems in life that can be solved with chocolate....others require a full clip and a shovel.
@EvanJKessler: Don't hate the game, hate the player who keeps sending you Facebook invites to play the game.
@pinupteacher: WAITER: Would you like any dessert? DATE: No, just the ch- ME: CHEESECAKE. Just the cheesecake.