@krishna_van: "Look on the bright side - at least there's more for us to drink with him gone" is, apparently, not something one should say at a wake.
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@Kyle_Lippert: The lady at the massage parlor asked if I wanted a happy ending, I said yes and then she proceeded to tell me the plot of Homeward Bound.
@tarashoe: love how during intense moments in space-themed movies they'll show the dashboard panels, as though you'll be like ah. ah i see the issue
@TheUnseenMe: You know that warm feeling you get when you look at your spouse? It's called acid reflux.