@Lovestained555: Look on the bright side, your insomnia keeps most of the spiders out of your mouth.
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@VodkaDietSoda: The second I sense someone about to ask for a bite of what I'm eating, I immediately shove the whole damn thing in my mouth & look baffled.
@Brianhopecomedy: Bumped into my Ex again. I should really move her to a different part of the freezer.
@RightOJack: My GF spent $49 on a haircut. Had she gone to Petsmart she'd have gotten an ear cleaning, anal gland extraction and a free bandana as well.