@Lovestained555: Look on the bright side, your insomnia keeps most of the spiders out of your mouth.
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@i_love_fudge: My therapist told me to write letters to the people I hate & then burn them. I wonder what I should do with the letters.
@Tmoney68: [Sloth Job Interview] Sloth Boss: How would you describe yourself? *2 hours later* Sloth Interviewee: Quick-thinking.
@ArfMeasures: DOCTOR: Don't be embarrassed. Taking trousers off is normal for a prostate exam. ME: Err yeah I guess. Should I take mine off too?
@bidenandobama: Biden: we could call it "Real Talk With Joebama" Obama: do you even know how to make a podcast, Joe?