@Dawn_M_: Look sad dragging a kite on the ground at the park and sometimes people will let you join their picnic.
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@ashmensch: *writes on wall in ketchup* THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED Boss: What the hell are you doing? Me: Somebody ate my corndogs.
@murrman5: [the instructor clearly frustrated with me on first day of veterinary school] "It doesn't matter if its a dog, it's still called a cat scan"
@DaddyJew: "Welcome to money management. Have you all paid your $200 entrance fee?" "Yes" "Excellent, never give money to strangers. Class dismissed"