@AntozWolf: Look son, every man is nervous the first time. Just take a deep breath, walk up to her, look her in the eye and ask her for directions.
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@noog: [outside eden] Adam: This isnt so bad Eve: Yea Adam: [mosquito lands on arm] Wtf is this [5 min later] Adam: [banging on gates] WE’RE SORRY
@Molly_Kats: A Victoria's Secret commercial will always come on when you're elbow deep in a bag of Doritos.
@divatulips: Give me coffee to change the things i can change and wine to accept the things i can't.
@Brampersandon_: [quickly jumps into the back of a cab] ME: How far will this get me? *i hand the driver 14 peanut m&ms with the chocolate sucked off*