@Cidisn: Look, woman, I'll do laundry when I'm out of clean clothes. *puts on skirt* I didn't say whose clothes.
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@Cheeseboy22: Sometimes I'll stop the treadmill at the gym and run in place. When people ask me what I'm doing, I'll say, "Pretend stoplight."
@Parentpains: Some coworkers remind me of my ex, because I would jump in front of a bus to get out of a conversation with them too.