@Cidisn: Look, woman, I'll do laundry when I'm out of clean clothes. *puts on skirt* I didn't say whose clothes.
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@007Pepe_Rex: Relationship status: I ran out of toilet paper a week ago. Update: I am now running out of paper towels.
@sirivan: Everyone makes fun of Aquaman, but he’s got it all figured out. He spends all day chilling in the water. His life is one big pool party.
@Los01001111: I'm pretty sure God and Satan are both women, because who else would hold a grudge for that long?
@ThisOneSayz: Woman to friend at store: We can get shrimp for people who don't eat meat! Me: don't forget the cheese for the lactose intolerant people!