@murrman5: Look, you invented bread and I invented knives. Let's combine forces and we could be the best thing since...well we'll think of that later.
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@subtweetopath: Me: Mom…Dad. I’ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: Well that’s great! Me: Your luggage is outside.
@behindyourback: even worse than arguing with a stupid person online is when an even stupider person joins in but they're on your side
@living_marble: Ann: I wanna break up Ed: why? A: you use time travel to manipulate me E: when, exactly, did you start to suspect this? A: well... Hey!