@Phook75: Looking at our latest Comcast bill and I can only pray that our daughter has zero aspirations for college
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What's the first step of fire safety? 4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.
@RidiculousSheri: The restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally, but just me getting a pat down from airport security.
@birbigs: "You're joking about calling it Good Friday, right? I told you the part about the nails?" -Jesus #GoodFriday