@briangaar: Looking at the smoldering corpses of his enemies, Harry Potter thought "damn magic is dope as hell." #LastLinesFromGreatBooks
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@AngelaLovesNY: Cardinals are fornicating on my porch again! The birds...not the religious robey dudes.
@mlkef: Every time I see a white work van, I beat the driver unconscious, and check in the back. Sooner or later I'll be a hero.