@briangaar: Looking at the smoldering corpses of his enemies, Harry Potter thought "damn magic is dope as hell." #LastLinesFromGreatBooks
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@just1fool: My only real regret in life is not pretending to be a shark in a heavily populated swimming area. But there's still time.
@Tw1tter_K1tten: Febreze commercial: "Now we remove her blindfold and..." *has panic attack, stabs camera man, vomits, jumps out closed window*