@LateNightSeth: Looking good, Kim! #LNSM
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@ChipKellysBalls: Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge.
@SteussieErica: FACT: Had kids for one reason; to send them to the basement for paper towels when I run out of them in the kitchen. It's scary down there.
@SuperJuanderer: What idiot called them swordfish instead of... oh, no, wait, actually that's pretty good.