@i_theindian: Looking up at his wife, he asked, "Honey, Do I have trouble making up my own mind?"
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@Sanbel11: Me: NO! Him: What? I haven't even said anything Me: Oh, you looked like you were about to
@Eightinchgoat: I think I'm gonna shave my legs so that there's less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
@glenna_opt: we all had to sign a card for a coworker thats retiring and i just wrote "please take me with you" in it
@McNevich: Hi guys! Nick is very handsome and an amazing cook. Are there any nice girls interested inMOM GET OFF MY TWITTER YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING