@Petote: *looks at you in batman voice*
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@philyuck: Hi I'm here for my vasectomy. "Would you like that toasted?" What? "Haha whoops sorry, just came from my other job. Ok let's do this."
@thenamesmikeG: The weirdest thing just happened. I had Cancer, then 15 people on Facebook were brave enough to change their statuses, & now I'm cured.
@LnL245: M: Um, you just spelled "qwerty" as "querty". H: So? M: Look at the keyboard. H: And? M: [Breaking fourth wall look to camera]
@BadMikeyBad: Remember when mowhawks meant you were a tough punk rocker? Now they just mean that you're 3 and your parents are idiots.