@EliTerry: "looks like a burrito fell out his pocket, hes crawling up to get it and crying. thats gonna cost points" - commentators on my snowboard run
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@Storminika: The only reason I watch political speeches is cause I'm hoping there's gonna be a sniper.
@osoplain: I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic
@bourgeoisalien: I make all my clothing choices based on what I would look like if I'm unexpectedly asked to bounce on a trampoline at some point in the day.
@autocorrects: You're 15 and miss the 90's? Yeah, I'm sure those were the best 2 years of your life. Shitting in your pants and eating dirt.