@Brianhopecomedy: Looks like my wife snuck a love note into my pocket which is pretty cute, although I don't know what "DNR" means.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ericsshadow: The fireworks have been over for hours but Rex is still barking, which is weird because he's 12 years old and not a dog. Weird little kid.
@catstronomical: Me: I'll take one insurance Insurance salesman: It doesn't work like that Me: *shoving $12 in his breast pocket* your best one, please