@JazzJazzybc: Lord, give me patience because if you give me strength then I'm gonna need some bail money on the side.
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@Crunk_Jews: People who use a vacation day the day after Christmas to have relatives over clearly don't understand the meaning of the word vacation.
@Tmoney68: [Entering Building As A Guy Leaves] Me: It's muggy out there. Guy: I'll be fine. *guy is beaten & robbed immediately. M: Told you.
@JasonLastname: If Edgar Allen Poe didn't have a cat named Poepurry, then I question him as a writer.
@ArfMeasures: ME: Then the robber came thru the door holding a gun COP: Was it a revolver? ME [thinks] No he just pushed it open & walked thru like normal