@JazzJazzybc: Lord, give me patience because if you give me strength then I'm gonna need some bail money on the side.
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@tdug: My greatest fear is having a star athlete injure himself and having the coach look into the crowd and point at me to take his place
@Retacof: Officer: You were speeding. Me: I am trying to keep up with traffic. O: There Is no traffic. M: I am really far behind.
@shkeeber: Theme parks can snap a clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph, but bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still.