@gobmentcheese: Lord of the Rings is about a bunch of straight men fighting over jewelry.
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@GrantTanaka: [wife comes out wearing pretty dress] me: that's my favorite dress wife: aww, how swee- m: take it off w: but we need to- m: I wanna wear it
@BuckyIsotope: Octopus - 8 arms "Yes" Octagon - 8 sides "Yes" Octuplets - 8 babies "Yes" October - 8th month "No" I'm burning this world down
@cwhudson: [couple who talks via walkie talkie] GIRL: [into walkie] this relationship is over, over GUY: *cries into walkie* it's roger isn't it?? over
@CornOnTheGoblin: ? Hey there Delilah, this is dispatch please come quickly There's a robbery in progress Suspect is white & in his 50s And high on gluuue ?