@imOverlyManly: Loses house keys. Builds new house.
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@roostermustache: Me: if u take an opinion and subtract 3.14, you're just left with onion. pretty crazy huh Girl at the bar im flirting with: *takes 9 shots*
@stuckinaportal: sexyaardvark69 [username taken] sexywombat69 [username taken] sexyplatypus69 [username taken] sorry this might take a while...
@Laser_Cat: America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital.
@WillMckenzieNot: At a restaurant: "Would you like a table?" "No, not at all. I came here to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."