@imOverlyManly: Loses house keys. Builds new house.
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@Quartzjixler: I think the inventor of the internet likely didn't intend for it to be used to post videos of simians reacting to humans doing magic tricks.
@freypalm: [comedy club] Worm: And what’s the deal with dandelion stems? Right? Right?! Other worms: *silence* Early bird: *cracking up*
@TheTweetOfGod: Hey U.S.: if every now and then I heard a "God PLEASE bless America", maybe you'd have better luck. #manners