@girlnarly: lost a tooth? replace it with a chiclet. got a bum ticker? put a clock inside your ribs. got raccoon eyes? give them back, silly. those don’t belong to you
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@OfficialMizGin: Guy in the club: *lifts up his shirt* I do 400 crunches a day. Me: How many more until you get a personality?
@blade_funner: Brit: You don't say queue in America, do you? Me: *condescendingly* We say all of the letters here.
@comer310: Hey gurl, were you taped to the inside of a birthday card from my grandmother? Cause you're a dime.