@girlnarly: lost a tooth? replace it with a chiclet. got a bum ticker? put a clock inside your ribs. got raccoon eyes? give them back, silly. those don’t belong to you
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@underchilde: A jury of my peers would just be 12 people who hate that they had to get up before noon.
@SamuelHLowe: - Hello, princess. Can I call you princess? - No. - OK then, Mr. Smith, let's just get started with your prostate exam.
@Tmoney68: I'm going to be an "adult" film star. You'll pay $12 to watch me struggle to pay bills, cry uncontrollably, and lie awake in bed at night.
@jimmytorosian: Slave: I know a way to escape Hipster slave: My friend Harriet has a better way. You probably haven't heard of it. It's really underground.