@jakob_huber: Lost in a corn maze? Light it on fire. Turn it into a popcorn maze. Eat your way out.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Someone cut my 6-year-old's hair She says she didn't do it Be on the lookout for a mysterious hair-cutting bandit who looks just like her
@asimplesean: Just saw a dog with three legs. He did have a fourth leg, but he also had three legs.
@Pirate_nurse: Don't forget to put everybody before her so she has no clue whether you really give a shit or not
@bighandsmassuer: As I slowly remove her panties I think to myself God these don't fit me very well