@jakob_huber: Lost in a corn maze? Light it on fire. Turn it into a popcorn maze. Eat your way out.
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@ValeeGrrl: 7yo: I'M REALLY MAD AT YOU MOMMA SO I'M GOING TO BED EARLY Me: OH NO. NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT
@FuckabillyRex: Tonight I sleep on a bed of fried chicken and biscuits. The colonel drizzles me with gravy. Is this heaven or hell? It's both.
@TommyKarate: Local video store is offering a chance to win free iPads, so naturally, I reported them as spam.