@IndigoCheese: Lost my first follower today. Funeral is Tuesday. Will be live tweeting. It's what he would have wanted.
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@papasuncle: [tries to take a selfie] Phone: NOT ENOUGH SPACE. [deletes a bunch of photos] Phone: still tho... don't.
@EJGomez: if you don't appreciate Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, I guess you could say you're taking him for granite. thanks & God bless
@thenatewolf: Mechanic: you need a new carburetor Me: you can call it a buretor, I know lots about cars, I'm like you
@DiscoFruit: me: *lights cig* do u smoke? girl: no, cigarettes killed my father me: oh, cancer..? her: no, an army of them, gunned him down me: wait what