@KellieMounce: "Lost Unicorn...if found please stop doing drugs."
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@Scott_A_Gilmore: What manner of evil contract with the devil must I enter into so I can get eye drops INTO my eyes?
@trentistweeting: "doctor, help! my son shattered one of his kneecaps!" it's ok, the human body can survive on one kid-knee
@joeljeffrey: My dad shouted "shut up idiots" to the cats. I told him "You're speaking English to a cat. You're the idiot. You have to meow at them."