@Darylch: Lots of hockey tweets, sadly I'm from Alabama where a bunch of white guys chasing something black with sticks has a whole different meaning.
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@slimmy_shady: Im making a fortune promoting home security systems.All I do is say "Hello".At 3 in the morning sitting at the end of their bed.
@TheHyyyype: [my future self comes back in time] HIM: here's every sports score for the next 20 years ME: great, thanks for ruining the games for me
@Reverend_Scott: [first date] Her: I like guys that are spontaneous. Waiter: Soup or salad, sir? Me: [maintains intense eye contact with her] SURPRISE ME