@tarashoe: love how during intense moments in space-themed movies they'll show the dashboard panels, as though you'll be like ah. ah i see the issue
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@GaryJanetti: Rio declares state of emergency just before Olympics. That's like inviting people to your house for dinner but you have no food. Or house.
@SortaBad: If I hear someone crying I immediately cry louder to establish myself as the dominant sad person in the room
@jergarl: When I was a kid I used to ask my my papa... "Whatcha doin?" Papa would say, "I'M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS." Best advice ever.
@DanMentos: *notices my tinder match has "catholic" in their bio* me: so how long have u been addicted to cats