@iGreenMonk: Love is a battlefield. And I fight naked.
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@WilliamAder: Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that's Fahrenheit or centigrade.
@MariyaAlexander: I can judge the goodness of my sex life by the loudness of the terrible music the neighbors are blasting
@SolelyB: I get worried when someone posts a kitten pic with a foreign language, I don't know if they're showing a cute kitty pet or their dinner.
@AntozWolf: People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!