@green_babe_: Love is like a unicorn. I don't have a unicorn.
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@FattMernandez: I hope Prince Harry and Emma Watson last because if they have a son, it will be the half-blood prince.
@causticbob: Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security? Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.
@DBMaxP: Who said losing weight was difficult? "Hello Blood Center? How much longer before I can donate another pint?"