@SamuelHLowe: Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.
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@xLiserx: Sometimes I wear my panties over my skinny jeans so I feel like a sexy superhero. And so strangers won't talk to me at the grocery store.
@Thee1_4U: My daughter just said that I'm the best dad she's ever had. So I got that going for me.
@3sunzzz: People are posting pictures of their Christmas trees all decorated, and I'm over here like, "Does anyone know if we have a clean plate?!"
@beefman138: Joan of Arc was great, but nothing compared to her sister, Joan of Circumference, who was a much more rounded person.