@lloydrang: "Love me do" is my favourite Beatles song written by Yoda.
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@DamienFahey: "This is NPR." Yeah, we know. You just spent the past 4 minutes whispering the news over a jazz saxophone solo.
@amazymay72x: Husband: I'll unload the dishwasher for you, honey. Me: No rush. 3 days later.......regrets saying no rush.
@SequelsWeWant: Monsters, Inc. 3: It's harder to make kids laugh The Internet has made them jaded The monster need help They teach the kids to smoke pot
@weinerdog4life: Me: Waiter, there's a duck in my soup Waiter: That's a pond, you're at a park, I'm just here with my family, will you put some pants on?