@RidiculousSheri: Love means never having to say you're sorry for accidentally bringing home six more cats.
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@CulturedRuffian: * on a date snuggling * Me: Did you enjoy dinner? Her: Yeah, but now I feel fat. Me: Get your hands off my belly.
@robdelaney: Shouldn't there have been ONE scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel's mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man's shed?"
@HomeProbably: What do you call a man who does all the cooking, cleaning and washing without complaint? Single.