@GuyConfused: Love my pillow so much because it doesn't leave my house in the morning after spending the night with me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JohnLyonTweets: So the waiter said "The plate is hot" and I said "I'll be the judge of that, haha." Anyhoo, I met a lot of nice people at the burn center.
@pleatedjeans: Bikes are held up by witchcraft if u can ride a bike you are a level 1 wizard & if u can ride a unicycle you are a level 2 dork haha owned
@davidkenny100: Work meeting Boss: it's come to my attention that someone has been eating out of the trash! Everyone, including his pet raccoon looks at me