@GuyConfused: Love my pillow so much because it doesn't leave my house in the morning after spending the night with me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@plethoricjake: As a child whenever I asked my parents to close the closet at night they always said. "Why? Anything that could kill you can open that door"
@rickolantern: I'll bet when two cannibals get trapped in an elevator going to lunch, around the fifth minute, things start getting a little weird.
@JElvisWeinstein: People belittle the internet "talking about a dress" as if we're busy solving problems otherwise.