@Mulva74: Love so rare, you can still hear it moo.
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@KeetPotato: [friend asks me to read an article] brain: "am i taking too long? im not even reading it now. oh god" me: [hands it back] "very interesting"
@OfficeofSteve: I have Tourettes syndrome, but instead of swearing, I yell out movies that Nicolas Cage has been in
@KateWhineHall: 10yo: You know that's not what they mean by exercise, right? Me: Pfft. [continues shaking Fitbit up and down]