@Jake1000001: Love will tear us apart. Also, bears, wolves and some other woodland creatures.
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@MischievousJam: Today seems like the perfect day to make important life altering decisions! - Me, when I've gone two days without sleep
@sixfootcandy: Cable Guy: Can I come in your back door? Me: Maybe for free HBO. Cable Guy: Me: I'm kidding...sort of...not really. Cable Guy:
@CruisinSoozan: I shaved my legs. Well except for those three knee hairs I always miss. Looking good Larry, Daryl and Daryl.
@Defiant_Doll: Me: That Febreze smells like Fireball. Roommate: Yeah, normal people call that cinnamon.