@i_theindian: Lovers decided to commit suicide. The boy jumped first. The girl did not. From that day, started the concept of...Ladies First. @Laugh_Riot
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@KevinFarzad: Language is cool because it's just a bunch of sounds, but put them in the right order & you can make someone cry or you can order tacos.
@Fred_Delicious: [Duck support group] "After i lost Barbara I was doing bread 5, maybe 6 times a day" *the other ducks nod sympathetically*
@TheAlexNevil: Shoulder Devil: So I say "Go on--do it!" And the moron does it! Shoulder Angel: What an idiot! Me: You guys know I can hear you, right?