@That_Damn_Duck: Lovey dovey couples look best when viewed through the scope of a high powered rifle.
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@nice_mustard: yes 911 i need to report a kidnapping. lol yeah there's a baby goat asleep in my lap. no dont send cops you'll wake him up
@tmckenna1: "Donald Trump is feuding with the Pope" is like the 7th Onion headline that's become real life in this election season
@JPHaddadio: Don't you hate when you take a power nap and wake up 22 hours later and everybody at work is staring at you?
@DirtMcTurd: when someone pisses you off start counting down from 10. When you get to 8 punch them in the throat, they will never expect it.