@mrkoodge: *lowers car suspension to look more gangster*
*takes 12 minutes to ride over a speedbump*
@MomofTeen: Interviewer: What makes you unique?
Me: I'm loyal to a fault, don't gossip, & work hard.
I: Yeah, so, you're not really going to fit in.
@SondraDeeMe: You going to eat those sausages?
The encased meats. Do you want them?
- Those are my fingers.
Oh, no thanks, I'm not there yet.
@WilliamRodgers: I love when people spend 7 minutes trying to back into a parking space just so they can leave "quicker"
@AimeeHelene1: News said how hard it'd be to shoplift a turkey.
Amateurs. It's all about commitment.
*stuffs turkey under shirt*
*whines that back hurts*
@Turbo_Jimmy: UK: we call them films, after the traditional recording process using photographic film
USA: WE CALL THEM MOVIES BECAUSE THEM PHOTOS MOVE