@mrkoodge: *lowers car suspension to look more gangster*
*takes 12 minutes to ride over a speedbump*
@ChipKellysBalls: Would bet there's a math equation that can tell how many kids a person has by measuring the amount of Cheerios on the floor of their car ...
@joeldanger: Every birthday is a surprise party after you turn 80.
@bobvulfov: LAWYER: ur dad's estate—
ME: who called it executing a will instead of splittin heirs
L: he said if u made a dumb joke u get nothing
@viktorvaughan: My plan is simple. Drink Vodka until I start speaking Russian.
@thesulk: How do male civil unions not end with the phrase "I dude"?