@mrkoodge: *lowers car suspension to look more gangster*
*takes 12 minutes to ride over a speedbump*
@rob5373: [Bags packed, leaving the ex]
Ex:"I hope you have a slow and painful death!"
Me:"So now you want me to stay?"
@AnkCoupleTO: Most guys will go gay for the night with the right amount of sangria & Foreigner playing in the background
Don't ask me how I know
"Why is that woman listening to our conversation?"
@Chumpstring: [robber pulls gun]
ME: take my money but please don't hurt me i'm an only child
MY DAD: [yelling from the car] he's lying he has a brother
@TuffyNyC: The next person who calls it an ATM Machine is getting sent to the ICU Unit.