@mrkoodge: *lowers car suspension to look more gangster*
*takes 12 minutes to ride over a speedbump*
@TheSadnesses: if I am elected governor I will eat your pillow while you sleep and unlike my opponent I will also do it if I am not elected
@DilapidatedDino: This whole time I thought 50 Shades of Grey was a coloring book for dogs
@TheAlexNevil: You know, one day auto correct will completely collapse, and that day will be gloria’s!!
@AsgardianRose: Perks of being an adult: I can eat 8 cookies, no one can stop me.
Cons of being an adult: I ate 8 cookies, no one stopped me, I feel awful.
@skullcat: You're so empty inside....nnn....stupid fridge.