@mrkoodge: *lowers car suspension to look more gangster*
*takes 12 minutes to ride over a speedbump*
@MEQ_777: Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it?
Asking for a friend
@Epygma: Im still waiting for a movie in which someone says "buy me some time" and the guy goes and buys him a clock
@o__0Dev: As a kid, I had to be careful not to curse around adults. Now as an adult, I have to be careful not to curse around kids.
@behindyourback: "conference" comes from the Latin "con" meaning "together with" and "ference" meaning "the worst people on earth"
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: We'd have less arguments if he wasn't so pedantic
THERAPIST [to me] Is that right?
ME: No. It should be fewer arguments