@Bluestmoon_: Luckily, children are much easier to keep alive than house plants.
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@sumpeoplelikeit: The person sleeping next to you is statistically more likely to murder you than any other person on the entire planet. Do the dishes.
@MariyaAlexander: People need to stop posting denigrating photo memes of animals; they have dignity and deserve respect. Oh that's Rick Santorum? Ok carry on.
@13spencer: At this point, I think the people on "The Walking Dead" are trying to bore the zombies into not biting them.
@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "I'm afraid-" *Wife crying* "I'm afraid your husband is in a better place now." *cut to me on a roller coaster at Disneyland*