@noogscorner: Luke, I am your father. Man you should see your face right now. It's all like waaaaaat no way.
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@sixfootcandy: My husband thinks it's funny how I have nothing to wear until I pack 4 suitcases for a trip.
@trevso_electric: Just saw a touching BP commercial where BP congratulates BP for doing some of what BP was legally required to do after it wrecked the earth.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [ad for umbrellas] [cut to me trying to swat away raindrops, just getting totally wet] "There must be a better way!" Voiceover: UMBRELLAS
@slaughthie: My coworker was like "I love kids! Can't finish a whole one by myself though hahaha!" And I was just like wow I could easily eat like 5.