@noogscorner: Luke, I am your father. Man you should see your face right now. It's all like waaaaaat no way.
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@FunkyFresh_79: Cinco De Mayo Cinco De Ketchup Cinco De Mustard Cinco De Siracha Cinco De Ranch Dressing
@KentWGraham: I used to sing my daughter to sleep at night, which is probably why her first word was “Stop.”
@bobvulfov: DONALD TRUMP (45 minutes into watching wall-e): this film is not what i hoped it would be
@OutOfLeftField_: Friend: Did you know that a butterfly only lives for 2 days? Me: I think that's a myth. Friend: No it's definitely a butterfly.