@rickolantern: Luke is so old now he just uses the Force to keep the neighborhood kids off his lawn
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@FunnyTunes: Wife :'Darling, look. I haven't worn this in 8 years and it still fits.' Hubby : It's a scarf!
@joeldanger: My parents told me as a kid that R&B stood for ribbons and bows so when I heard Barry White in their bedroom I left them alone to do crafts.
@Sean_Burgundy_: There's nothing worse than when you tell someone it's a long story and they reply with "I have time."
@SodomyClown: If someone says "I will do anything for you" lean in really close and say "There's a body in my basement and I can't eat it all by myself."