@nataliejmooney: lying on the floor with my mouth open just in case someone breaks in and decides to grate a bunch of cheese in there
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@imadepoopstoday: Practicing parenthood on an egg only teaches kids that if you cook your baby it's delicious.
@CheryeDavis: I always take the high road, because the colors are more psychedelic and sometimes you see a unicorn.
@UnicornSyrup: My teacher always hated my answers to her math questions. "If I have 6 candy bars in one hand and 7 in the other, what do I have?" Diabetes?