@robfee: Lynyrd Skynyrd wrote a song about how great Alabama is, and the only thing they could come up with is that the sky is really blue.
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@TheGladStork: When my wife pisses me off, I get on her Pinterest and pin lots of mediocre shit, like cupcakes that just look like cupcakes.
@causticbob: I found a cure for my debilitating cancer. I dumped her and started to see a capricorn instead.