@WilliamAder: Macaroni Grill closed four locations here. I suspect the tendency of macaroni to fall through the grill had a lot to do with it.
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@Chicken_Hawk38: All i'm saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
@AristotlesNZ: Cop failed me on the sobriety test even tho I not only touched my nose like he asked but went on & totally nailed the rest of the macarena.
@Brampersandon_: I was pretty nervous doing stand-up in front of a bunch of nudists but then I imagined the crowd in their underwear and it helped so much.
@briangaar: At this point, I'm pretty sure the main reason Donald Trump ran for president was to get more Twitter followers