@JasonLastname: Mad cow disease wears off and eventually you're just tired with a cow disease.
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@thejessbess: Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I'm not so sure what I did, but he sent me a text that only said, "K" so it must be pretty bad.
@BoogTweets: [at a wake] Me: *closes coffin to set my drink down* so, what are you doing after this Widow: wow
@Playing_Dad: [Heaven] Me: Can I come in? St Peter: *shakes head no* Me: Was it close? St Peter: *rolls out my lifetime internet history* Not really
@3sunzzz: I am a mother, of course I talk to myself. I am the only one in this house that listens.