@olerunkbitch: Made a weird face in the mirror this morning and I looked like Ted Cruz. This is my suicide note.
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@Jandalize: My 16yo daughters boyfriend struggled with a capri sun for the last 10 minutes. I think it's ok to leave her alone with him.
@scorpicpanda: If I've learned one thing from watching horror movies, it's if you buy snacks from vending machines, you will die.