@loribuckmajor: Made plans to exercise with a friend and now I have to go get in a car accident.
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@MarfSalvador: Boy: *Kissing girl on couch* You wanna take this upstairs? Girl: Hehe sure baby Boy: Sweet! Grab the other end, I can't carry it by myself
@NoticablyBacon: Instead of a condom i keep a moist towelette in my wallet because i run into buffalo wings alot more often than sex
@MeetingBoy: I love how you changed "Conclusions" to "Learnings" in my PowerPoint. Any other made-up words I should add?
@theshamingofjay: If the picture you took of the bad weather while driving isn't followed by a picture of your car crash then it wasn't that bad.