@loribuckmajor: Made plans to exercise with a friend and now I have to go get in a car accident.
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@bridger_w: This year, teach your kids the true meaning of Easter by trapping them in a stone tomb for three days.
@Moldy_Jellybean: Just when I manage to convince myself that I am a superior and more intelligent being, I walk into a door.
@juliussharpe: With all the conflicts in the world, the board game Risk has taught me the first thing we should do is invade Australia.