@loribuckmajor: Made plans to exercise with a friend and now I have to go get in a car accident.
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@MattMcElaney: 10 years ago parents were like "be careful what you put on the web" and we were all "lol. old people." now none of us can ever be President.
@Lisa_Laughs_: They're not all brilliant, but they're all mine. Meaning my tweets, and maybe my kids, whatever.
@iwearaonesie: How people watch movies when they’re: DATING *hold hands* ENGAGED *cuddle* MARRIED *one person turns the volume up when I’m choking on a piece of popcorn*