@loribuckmajor: Made plans to exercise with a friend and now I have to go get in a car accident.
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@casual_koala: Don't get upset if you hit a lot of red lights on your way to work. You'd turn red too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
@WilliamAder: Glad I'm not a general, because auto-correct just changed "lunch order" to "launch order."
@TheToddWilliams: [creation] GOD: So how do you like the flying? PENGUIN: Meh it's no big deal GOD: Oh is that right