@Try2StopME: Maggi is the girlfriend of the food world. It says 2 minutes but never gets ready in less than 20 minutes.
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@mortimermaiden: Me: I'm gonna renovate the house once I get my promotion. After that, kids maybe? Date: Are you still talking about The Sims? Me: Of course.
@IRLPepperMD: [911 call] IM GETTING EATEN- *pause* Ok one sec. *holds phone away from mouth* Are you an alligator or a crocodile? *pause* Cool. ITS A CRO-
@david8hughes: [phone rings] Guy: is your refrigerator running? Me: yes my refrigerator is runn- Fridge [grabs phone]: hello? Yeah actually I do crossfit