@Try2StopME: Maggi is the girlfriend of the food world. It says 2 minutes but never gets ready in less than 20 minutes.
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@ericsshadow: [first date] HIM: Can I call you sometime? HER: [slowly slides napkin over phone] You can't... I lost my phone
@ericsshadow: [is being given CPR by my ex girlfriend] "do you know how many heart attacks I had to fake before they sent you."
@NotJPo: Listen up, single people. You can only sleep with so many people. Sooooo many people. So so so many.
@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1961. In Spain the fascist government of Generalissimo Francisco Franco declared equal rights for women and men. None.