@CornOnTheGoblin: [magicians backstage] don't panic guys but I think we really just sawed that woman in half
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@JasonBerlin: 1. Bang knee on table - curse life. 2. Check credit card balance. 3. Think back to sweet moment when you banged knee on table.
@Nikkeya08: Sorry my diet made me slap the oreo out of your toddler's hand and scream "NOT TODAY SATAN!"
@shutupmikeginn: I just ran into my high school bully and it was great cause I'm doing well and he's 17 which is very old for a dog
@david8hughes: [steps off crosstrainer] "Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--" "Shall I call an ambulance?" "Please."