@batkaren: *Magneto flapping his wrist frantically, trying to shake loose a fork stuck to his hand*
@CulturedRuffian: "No way." -Jose
@TVsCarlKinsella: FOUNDER OF HOGWARTS: okay, so we all know there are four types of kid. brave, smart, evil and miscellaneous.
SCHOOL BOARD: yes, continue.
@XplodingUnicorn: My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: My desires are... unconventional. (Hands you a phone and makes you call my boss and quit my job for me)
@lchap83: Y'all. Y'all.