@batkaren: *Magneto flapping his wrist frantically, trying to shake loose a fork stuck to his hand*
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@ieatanddrink: My daughter called me "lame." Let's see how "lame" she thinks I am when I pick her and her friends up from the movies in a BOAT
@WilliamRodgers: I'd rather drop a baby than my iPhone.... I mean I can make another baby, but I have no clue how to make an iPhone.
@Manda_like_wine: My 4yo just came into the living room, crying, "I don't want Santa to see me when I poo."
@longwall26: The ocean is full of sharks, jellyfish, man-eating octopus, and nightmare whales, but make sure you wait a half-hour after eating to go in.