@Ty_Schutz: Mailboxes were invented so you know how far away you can be in a robe before you look like a mental patient.
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@ericsshadow: [flying remote control helicopter near my wife] GET THAT THING AWAY FROM MY- [helicopter gets tangled in her hair & now I'm a dead person]
@maebemarbles: Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
@Iwriteforcats: The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.