@TheTalkingPipe: Make a friend today. Give a complete stranger a big, long hug. If they happen to get mad, tell the police a guy on twitter said you could.
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@ramenfuneral: "how about an animal that looks like a cross between a horse and a barcode" - creator of zebras
@SteveKoehler22: A young musician left his priceless Stradivarius violin on a train in Germany. But it was returned... no strings attached. Wait...what ?
@thatUPSdude: Hey people that knock on locked restroom doors, what are you expecting? "hey I'm taking a shit but come on in and join me"
@TheMichaelRock: Hey guy driving the speed limit with your hands at 10 & 2, can I have some of that weed you're transporting?